यार मैं बड़ा परेशान हुँ.... How important it is to feel unhappy?

unhappy |ʌnˈhapi| adjective (unhappier, unhappiest)

1 not happy: an unhappy marriage.

sad |sad| adjective (sadder, saddest)

1 feeling or showing sorrow; unhappy: I was sad and subdued

The above are how the words are defined as in the dictionary. Which one? That I didn’t care to check. Internet and Mobiles are a good way to skirt a lot of efforts. A lot of effort.

One noticeable point though is the examples for “unhappy and sad”. Both of them seem to be pointing in one direction, the future for many, the present for still more and a past for a lucky few. And these are not what I thought of on my own, googling up these words by ‘meaning’ would show you the same. Apparently, the number one reason associated with the feeling of unhappiness is known to google. Rather known to all, just that google can publicly admit it.

But this post is not about the top ten reasons, its all about why and what of being unhappy.

Unhappy and sad are synonyms for good. A lot many people don’t know when to use which word. Neither do I. In that case I am with the majority. But there seems to be a fundamental difference between the two. What could be it? Order of magnitude? Order of expression? One thing is for sure, unhappy sounds more of a self inflicted situation.

People saying “I am unhappy” aloud are seen as negative emotion explosives.

Somehow saying “I am sad” evokes a more positive reaction. A sad person deserves empathy but somehow an “unhappy” person needs to be avoided. Its almost as if sadness needs to be shared but unhappiness is contagious. I may be the only one assuming this. It could be just me who thinks like this, but since I am one lazy dog and I can’t go out doing referendums, I would go ahead and declare this to be the reaction of majority of people. If I was in majority once, It’s safe to assume the majority is with me too.

Coming back to unhappy and sad. Unhappy is entirely a state of mind. I am unhappy with the way population of Delhi voted. I am unhappy with the weather, its pretty clear sunny and warm, just like being promised good clean politics by a certain group of people and then delivering it.

Don’t take this as a diatribe on Delhi election results. Its just that the latest happening are easier on the mouth as examples.

Sad on the other hand comes from deep within. Sad has an emotional ring to it. I can be unhappy with any trivial happening. Sadness stems from something troubling deep within. Unhappy is I doing something to myself. Sad is me feeling something. That is a very big difference if looked from this angle. I can clearly remember when was the last time I was unhappy and when I was sad, distinctly.

Life gives us innumerable moments. It also gives us the choice to take away experiences from the these moments. Most of the times it is in our own hands to chose how we react to these experiences. Unhappiness is just that, a reaction. We have the power to control it.

Sadness is a feeling. That’s what makes us human. To be able to feel the hurt, pain and emotions of others. This is what makes us appreciate life. If I feel sad when I am away from my loved ones, it gives me a reason to be happy. Happy for the way I will feel when we meet again.

Unhappiness has always a lot of drama attached to it. it stops us from changing ourselves. It makes us blind, and we don’t make efforts to change the state of unhappiness. On the other hand sadness lets our emotions flow. In a way, clearing up our feelings, making us realise importance of certain relations in life.

Eventually the cure of both is to be happy. When unhappy we have to be decide to react otherwise. When sad, we need to look towards the brighter side. Sadness does not mean you have to react unhappily.

Contentment does not come from reactions which fight life. It comes from accepting life and feeling happy. No wonder the dictionary definition of Happy goes somewhat like this,

happy |ˈhapi| adjective (happier, happiest)

1 feeling or showing pleasure or contentment: I am happy.

भाई ये तो जबर हो गया.… मतलब एकदम जबर.… What if everything's awesome?

There is that one scenery, picture, painting, one view with which we can all relate to. For some it’s the sunset, over the ocean, behind the mountains, even behind the lines of towering sky scrappers. All pink and reddish, in the last rays of the day.

It could be a waterfall for some. Foaming and frothing at the mouth, spraying millions of droplets, into the air, which kiss your face and dissolve away into nothingness.

There is that one scene which makes us stop in our paths and say "Man, that was awesome....!".

Now imagine a local native from the same place. From the same area you found mesmerising. Would it hold the same beauty in his eyes? I doubt it. He can see the same view daily and the beauty could be lost on him.

My first flight, it was an experience. I was fascinated by everything. The airport, the security, even the flight announcement. By the way, then I was Flying the good times, Kingfisher. There used to be a lot to be excited about it back then. Later it all became a routine, I could sleep walk my way to catching a flight. It had stopped being an experience. It wasn’t anymore awesome enough that no one knew how the plane flew, it just took me from one place to another. Bernoulli will not be happy right now.

What I do want to say is, that every moment is awesome in itself. By just happening. It’s awesome to be able to see, write and publish such shit, people go to internet to read it, feel a sense of awesomeness piling into themselves. As matter of routine we have forgotten how to collect experiences. Stealing moments from everything happening around us. There is a long chain of events, that can be actually, completely, traced back to the big bang. Right from this moment when you are reading this line and thinking what the crap?

Maybe we have lost oodles of data in between, we may have too many missing links, the theory of evolution is at best a theory, but still we have come a long way from atoms and molecules. Darwin would kill me by now. But then who knows what we were before that?

Even if we just rewind some steps back to today morning, its surprising that some us did not trip over the rug on the bedside and fell face forward just when you thought what a cold beautiful morning it was. That would have happened to someone at-least considering there are 7 billion of us roaming around, all ready to lay their lives at a moments notice.

Our lives are a string of experiences, all good and bad. These are judged for what they are, under the light of our expectations from the outcome of experiences. But each of these experiences are made up of further smaller particles. Small, infinitesimally small, indivisible moments. If we take out some time, from running after experiences, running into the next experience, without appreciating the first one, someday we may slow down enough to observe our lives. In each of its moments, its fun, miraculous, fantastic and awesome. Maybe that is what it mean to be alive then. Rest is just living.

There are a lot experiences etched into our memories, not just because they were awesome at that  moment in time, but they take us back to that same time and feelings.

The moment when you learnt to ride a bicycle, all alone. The first time you said I love you to someone not a part of your family, then repeated to everyone you met for more than a couple of hours. Some people live their lives without ever hearing it even once, ask raj and simran from DDLJ. In their complete running time on then celluloid, they never once heard it from each other.

Have you seen a flower blooming? Unless of course it was from the trending Time-Lapse videos, it takes some time, maybe days, I haven’t seen one, so I am guessing to cover my knowledge here. But it would be one of the awesome moments.

We are always charmed by what we think is a singularity. A one time event. If it were to happen everyday, we would lose interest in it. It would not longer be awesome, spectacular. That is what happens to us in our day to day lives too. But there is a way out. Slow down a bit. The next time you are commuting from work, ride slow, drive slow, look around, you may get to see something that was always there, but you never noticed before.

Similarly slowdown in your lives too. Try and live a moment. You can always keep running later. I never do personally, I am allergic to personal fitness.

But either you can run and reach predetermined goals, milestones in life, look back at them as achievements, or you can enjoy the awesome journey that life is, and bask in its glory.

Whatever that makes you feel awesome, deep down within you.